what is sadness? can it be felt by anyone, anytime? can it control you? can it make you lose everything? can it make you laugh at your own-self?
The world and it’s thousand different ways sometimes have me awestruck, a teenager by its differet ways of functioning, the different methods, the different ingredients which go into making everyone else’s experience different and unique, some filled with nothing but laughter, some with nothing but sadness and others with both, the unperfect balance!
But for this blog, I will focus on the earlier part nothing but sadness. Well the story according to me on this topic is pretty unclear and blurry. Sometimes, being a teen even though I am shielded from half of the external cruelty by my family I still tend to get very, I mean extremely sad and at that moment what goes through my head is how nothing matters, how everything matters, how I shouldn’t be sad, how I still feel sad. And among all this commotion I imagine there to be one boy inside of my mind just standing still arms by his side with a poker face just staring at me, at my confused frightened self. now, what I see in that boy is a young carefree version of me who doesn’t know anything but happiness a life full of good times, good memories and then it hits me how I am still one of the luckiest and privileged people to be born and how many more problems I could’ve had. But wait doesn’t that mean that I’m using someone’s very bad position in life, I’m using a troubled person to make myself feel better isn’t that giving a reason to that position of the person? probably but in all that noise that is the last thing I have time to think about, my ethics. Because when you are falling off a cliff you don’t really care about the porridge stain on your shirt!
Anyway, when I’m all in that confusion, suddenly everything stops, all the overthinking, all the feeling bad and the boy with the poker face says to me “you’re fine!” and honestly I don’t know how or why I get better that very moment everything which had been making me sad seems to be disappearing like a caterpillar going into his cocoon to become a butterfly and in the end it really does. Now what I mean is almost everyone goes through some emotional patches in their lives and it doesn’t only have to be something big, sometimes even the smallest of the things can mean a world to someone else.
At the end of this I just want to say that by writing this I don’t mean to say that I have been through a lot personally, no, frankly I haven’t but I just wanted to say this because if anyone of you reading this can relate and smile and realise you are not alone, then it means the world to me because in the end it’s all about being positive and trust me if you know how to control the caterpillar then what comes out at the end will be a beautiful butterfly.