Growing up?

what is maturity?
is it something we get? or something we earn over the years, little by little, through the years? or something we understand? is it even certain that we will be mature someday?

For me maturity is not related to age it is not related to whether you party or not, whether you have been heartbroken. I know its related to you, it is something which is a part of you something
which defines you, just like your name or face!
so let me start with talking about my experience, the thing with me is that I am way too mature for my own age. I mean yes I can now finally see some people being as mature as me but maybe I’m tooting my horn or something but honestly, i could not care less, what I so want to say though is that when I felt ‘mature’
I realised I got through a lot very soon and I had my own ways of getting through it like alcohol or whatever. I used to share a fucking lot about my life when I was like 14? even early 15’s (yeah, i was young when i wrote this), but I soon realised that it was all in vain, it was futile as what I had already been through was what most of the people around me were now going through and they had no way of comprehending a bit of what I was saying. I mean I had already faced all the challenges that they told me they were facing and I mean since I had been through it I felt like could help them, should help them avoid the mistakes I made and while some listened other didn’t.
some stayed others didn’t but I never left anyone because i knew what it felt like to have been through hell and have nowhere to go at the end of the day, to be so mentally stressed that you get physically unwell, to be so stressed that missing a deadline seems like a small task to you while all other kids are freaking out as if it is their everything!
anyway, at this point of time I realised that if I help everyone there is no fucking one left to help me! so to help myself get through it i went and made good with something which
could not possibly leave me alone it wouldn’t talk to me but it could listen and that was enough for me and most of you might’ve guessed, that something was alcohol. for 6 straight months every night I would pour a drink sometimes 2, sometimes 4 and sometimes the bottle and at that time I did not care if I was a minor or something i mean fuck your laws I’m going through something here! anyway the 6 months were so revolutionizing for me.
I went from being stressed to being chilled as fuck, from being anti social to finally being able to talk to others, from having no self esteem to having fuck loads of it.
And now you that know the story in short narrated beautifully by me in short you tell me is alcohol really the bad thing? i mean in 4 years of suffering all I needed was just 6 months of alcohol and it helped me in ways i never thought it could
it made me someone I never could’ve been without it, it made me truly MATURE.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s