what is sadness? can it be felt by anyone, anytime? can it control you? can it make you lose everything? can it make you laugh at your own-self?

The world and it’s thousand different ways sometimes have me awestruck, a teenager by its differet ways of functioning, the different methods, the different ingredients which go into making everyone else’s experience different and unique, some filled with nothing but laughter, some with nothing but sadness and others with both, the unperfect balance!

But for this blog, I will focus on the earlier part nothing but sadness. Well the story according to me on this topic is pretty unclear and blurry. Sometimes, being a teen even though I am shielded from half of the external cruelty by my family I still tend to get very, I mean extremely sad and at that moment what goes through my head is how nothing matters, how everything matters, how I shouldn’t be sad, how I still feel sad. And among all this commotion I imagine there to be one boy inside of my mind just standing still arms by his side with a poker face just staring at me, at my confused frightened self. now, what I see in that boy is a young carefree version of me who doesn’t know anything but happiness a life full of good times, good memories and then it hits me how I am still one of the luckiest and privileged people to be born and how many more problems I could’ve had. But wait doesn’t that mean that I’m using someone’s very bad position in life, I’m using a troubled person to make myself feel better isn’t that giving a reason to that position of the person? probably but in all that noise that is the last thing I have time to think about, my ethics. Because when you are falling off a cliff you don’t really care about the porridge stain on your shirt!

Anyway, when I’m all in that confusion, suddenly everything stops, all the overthinking, all the feeling bad and the boy with the poker face says to me “you’re fine!” and honestly I don’t know how or why I get better that very moment everything which had been making me sad seems to be disappearing like a caterpillar going into his cocoon to become a butterfly and in the end it really does. Now what I mean is almost everyone goes through some emotional patches in their lives and it doesn’t only have to be something big, sometimes even the smallest of the things can mean a world to someone else.

At the end of this I just want to say that by writing this I don’t mean to say that I have been through a lot personally, no, frankly I haven’t but I just wanted to say this because if anyone of you reading this can relate and smile and realise you are not alone, then it means the world to me because in the end it’s all about being positive and trust me if you know how to control the caterpillar then what comes out at the end will be a beautiful butterfly.


Getting into drugs, sniffing, crying

Wondering where the love every dad is buying,

Money cant buy love is what I had learned

But, kids still wondering’ how much their dad could’ve earned,

Didn’t get any fatherly love, I know that

A Gucci sneaker I had to show that,

Had a mom who was kind, gentle and warm

Too bad the world wasn’t ready for my mom,

Never had what they called a loving father

Day by day he was getting further,

Mental issues is what they said I had

All I knew is that it was getting bad,

Wanted a house, a job and a car

Ended up sitting all day in a bar.

Growing up?

what is maturity?
is it something we get? or something we earn over the years, little by little, through the years? or something we understand? is it even certain that we will be mature someday?

For me maturity is not related to age it is not related to whether you party or not, whether you have been heartbroken. I know its related to you, it is something which is a part of you something
which defines you, just like your name or face!
so let me start with talking about my experience, the thing with me is that I am way too mature for my own age. I mean yes I can now finally see some people being as mature as me but maybe I’m tooting my horn or something but honestly, i could not care less, what I so want to say though is that when I felt ‘mature’
I realised I got through a lot very soon and I had my own ways of getting through it like alcohol or whatever. I used to share a fucking lot about my life when I was like 14? even early 15’s (yeah, i was young when i wrote this), but I soon realised that it was all in vain, it was futile as what I had already been through was what most of the people around me were now going through and they had no way of comprehending a bit of what I was saying. I mean I had already faced all the challenges that they told me they were facing and I mean since I had been through it I felt like could help them, should help them avoid the mistakes I made and while some listened other didn’t.
some stayed others didn’t but I never left anyone because i knew what it felt like to have been through hell and have nowhere to go at the end of the day, to be so mentally stressed that you get physically unwell, to be so stressed that missing a deadline seems like a small task to you while all other kids are freaking out as if it is their everything!
anyway, at this point of time I realised that if I help everyone there is no fucking one left to help me! so to help myself get through it i went and made good with something which
could not possibly leave me alone it wouldn’t talk to me but it could listen and that was enough for me and most of you might’ve guessed, that something was alcohol. for 6 straight months every night I would pour a drink sometimes 2, sometimes 4 and sometimes the bottle and at that time I did not care if I was a minor or something i mean fuck your laws I’m going through something here! anyway the 6 months were so revolutionizing for me.
I went from being stressed to being chilled as fuck, from being anti social to finally being able to talk to others, from having no self esteem to having fuck loads of it.
And now you that know the story in short narrated beautifully by me in short you tell me is alcohol really the bad thing? i mean in 4 years of suffering all I needed was just 6 months of alcohol and it helped me in ways i never thought it could
it made me someone I never could’ve been without it, it made me truly MATURE.



Money solves everything?

If you ever think more money is going to solve all your problems, let me tell you one thing, it doesn’t, it handles the financial side of things but your heart still breaks, you still feel pain, you might gain attitude. But the one thing i have learnt is never treat people earning less than you differently they are also people who are working their ass off and you money doesn’t give you a permit to be disrespectful towards anyone. I mean buying even pizza is so fucking tough, we teenagers dont realise it because we have not had to earn yet but i have earned with and without others and i consider myself to know a lot of stuff. I have worn rs500 shirts and been happy as fuck and have worn 1l jackets and still have had some of the worst days of my life, i have sat in 3L cars n been content and I have been in cars worth crores and felt like i have nothing, i have seen everything been through everything and I guess that is the benefit of being in a business family. I’m telling you guys because i wanna share what i know so that you guys can spend more time enjoying what you have. To be honest i have a broken heart which doesnt seem to be able to be fixed because it has been broken so many times i dont expect it to be fixed. But i hate and love where i am now i can love people but can’t date them becaus either i like her so much i can’t think of cheating her, because i mean this shit money doesnt matter, your car doesn’t matter, your clothes dont matter, your business doesn’t matter all that matters is what you respect and what you believe in. For me that is myself I trust myself so much that I know I can get through anything because i know everything i need to and i know that one day ill be sitting in my lambo and laughing about the things i wished i had, i believe one day i’ll have everything and wondering how I had nothing! I have lost belief from love. i don’t beleive love is real anymore because what i consider to be real is everythin I can feel and I can’t feel love or myself anymore.

real or virtual?

In today’s world, there are so many complications so much politics that even the people you think you already do or can trust can’t be trusted. everyone is after money and the one who isn’t is after these pleasures is after fame and success. what is success we must ask ourselves, we must ask ourselves what is it that drives us crazy in my almost perfect life I don’t have to worry about anything. everything is taken care of but still, see that I can’t cope with life I create unnecessary problems for myself. Seeing other people I realise how easy I have it and how messed up this world is and how the only way to turn it into a better one is no way. Many think that they might or something or someone else might fix their problems but the truth is you can’t fix what isn’t meant to fixed. People think that hard part always seems to last forever, it is because life is the hard part, life is easy until you are being given everything to join this world of mortals with no actual purpose who don’t even know where they are nor what they want. We think that what we want most in the world matters whereas it doesn’t matter one bit this is a materialistic world and everything from birth parents to life itself is made-up no-one else knows who we are and what purpose we have I believe we all have only one purpose which is to work hard for those above us in a subordinate manner cause if we act too dumb or too smart, we get eliminated from this race called life and history has shown it multiple times. No one knows how they got dragged into this mess termed life or how they will escape it, while some are trapped acquiring materialistic thing and others care about only the monetary value of a substance. The enlightened as they say have found out the true purpose of life and the true purpose of life can only be found by those in some other world than the lot of us. we think nothing feels better than treating us with monetary possessions. Some say our purpose is to find our soulmate while others say it is to serve something greater than us. Why did we create the almighty and who is it? we creates it because we think that we are nothing but slaves waiting to be ordered by our master, bound by the shackles of service and responsibility whereas there should be no shackles which can hold us, no one to tell us what we are worth because we aren’t something whose value has monetary or made-up value, we weigh above god, every action of ours has a reaction because of that one guiding power and force which keeps us on our toes. What really is hell and what really is heaven, it too is made up, fictional in the real world the layers of deception run not only in organic creatures such as ourselves but also what we consider to be real.we as a human race have made it further than any of our ancestors would have guessed but that is in the virtual the unreal world we again must learn what is real and what isn’t. Our bodies or even our souls are participants in the fake, the imagined world turning them imaginative too. Caring bout your job because the truth is no matter how much we progress we will never trust me, never understand our purpose. Life is unfair and so are we who are we to decide what is right or wrong, when we can’t even decide if we are real or not. The materialistic expensive things are like dog’s treat telling us our direction and telling us not to think much and do as we are indirectly told by the one the almighty. the life if you think of it could be a sand particle in someone else’s world or be everything in our world. It all depends on ones perception.every person living in this universe and possibly several other has made up his version of what is success what is progress and what isn’t, the Big Bang it could be real or it simply could be put in our heads to ease us of our existence, the thing which we most dread could be a way out, a way to the actual world. We could be living in a dream world not knowing the person who has created us. Nothing is real and nothing is fake somethings are real while being fake and virtual while others the opposite. The latest invention being made in science, who gets the idea, who controls the person who does, it’s his brain and who controls that? it’s their conscience what we still haven’t figured out is how to get ourselves out of the cycle of existence or extinction, we have learnt about various mass extinctions in the history and choosing not to learn and gain hindsight from it is probably our worst mistake ever probably because it the last mistake we will ever make. We are afraid of so many unknown things in life itself that we forget about the other equally important half of our existence the afterlife, in our alert life we have so much to discover, to explore, to question that we have forgotten to try and find answers to the result of it all. afterlife is one thing we do not know about at all if we were real the soul if not body would go somewhere wouldn’t it, the conscience cannot die by virtual factors when it is real. We have moved away from actual progress, ignored the ruled, the guidelines laid down by our ancestors and have completely gone against it we think we progress while what we do is gain knowledge about the fake world we have yet to distinguish between real and virtual worlds. I don’t even know if the thoughts going through my mind are virtual or real the concept of virtual and real itself Is made-up because everything is made by us, we can turn anything into anything, we can turn Gold into salt and salt into gold but only with the correct and right knowledge but the question arises again what is right and what is wrong what is correct and what it isn’t is being correct being right or are the two terms different. Life goes on and there is nothing we as mortals can do except live life as it goes facing its tests and hoping to pass in each and every one of them.what we feel as freedom even when it seems to be true isn’t because since we do not know what we are implies we are someone or something else, what we feel what we don’t isn’t ours to decide the only way to freedom is no way at all even if we break the cycle or nirvana we still aren’t free even after and if we meet our maker we arent free even the maker isn’t free we are all a bunch of puppets controlled by someone else.


With mental Heath day being around you might have read many articles saying that I’m here if you need someone to talk to but that is not always the case. Social media among many other things has made people fake their care for the society, like this girl in my chocolate shared various posts about depression but the next day was bullying a boy for having long hair. Nowadays even if one is a little sad they will call it depression but thwart they don’t reallise is that they are actually making. Depression seem like a small thing. Depression is a really vague topic and just randomly saying that you’re in depression makes you careless. Sometimes. It’s the people you lest expect to be in it are trapped in it and the way our society is built I can only see possible refugee for we of them, lie a married Hindu woman who is facing domestic violence leading her to depression cant use expect a divorce even though that is exactly what she needs, if she does take a divorce she will be shamed and insulted by her community and will be treated like an outcast. It is because of This society that one of every 5 person on this world is suffering through clinical depression and no, there is not enough awareness abut depression but the fact that many people fail to comprehend is that there is no “AGE” for depression it is like any physical disease which can happen to anyone, the difficulties be faces in life can never be and never should be compared to anyone else. And if you know a Person who is going through depression the least you can do for them is say that it will be okay, it gets better. It is not just depression that needs to be given full attention it is all of the mental illnesses. Even this blog is only going to be read by some of the educated people of the society not by the children or adults living in the slums where they can’t even afford eating 3 times a day so they cant even consider curing something which doesn’t even exist. Just making a few changes in your life and making yourself a better person can change so many lives, just being polite and kind can make them rethink about the suicide they were just about to commit. One of the main causes of depression is thinking that someone outside of yourself is responsible for your happiness.

You are not responsible for one one else’s happiness and no one is responsible for yours, all one can do is keep themselves happy eventually changing their vibes.

How to overcome depression?

1. Stop destructive avoidance patterns, these include drinking, smoking etc.

2. Start positive patterns, dance, work out, meditate just anything that gives you energy

3.If not for yourself try making the world a better place for others


We humans have a tendency to always be curious. Whether it be about the universe or even our own lives.

From our childhood we are told that we have to achieve and be a part of something bigger than ourselves or even bigger than we could ever think about and that is a question we have that no-one has an answer to. We are Also  told to get things done rather than to procrastinate them.

We always look forward to having more whether it be wealth, fame or success and not how much success we have personally gained but compare it to what others have whereas, we often don’t see where they have come from and how privileged they have been and end up feeling bad about it even though you might be earning a six figure income and almost all the time we try to prove that we are both superior and inferior to the universe. Its this battle between our consciousness and our ego that misbalances us and causes us to lose that which we love but those who come out successful in controlling  them are rewarded with being their own masters.     

Our world from the very core works on money and principles, we are taught to earn money yet to be idealistic and not materialistic. The world in itself is contradictory and following it by the rules may not always be the best solution to everything for everyone we must learn to accept the fact that’s it is okay to be everything but keep it in control and not be controlled by it such as greed, passion, hatred.

Human beings because of their nature have always found a way in times of need but that history of ours had made us blind and reluctant to our effects on our environment and our lives.It has made us overconfident that we will get through this difficult time too but history repeats itself and when some of the most powerful people in the world like trump say that climate change is NOT real you start fearing if our future is safe it might be our time and this time we might even succeedingly prove interstellar wrong and just be a historic and powerful species in the books of those after us- 



Terrorism can be defined as a way of mainly using gun violence to attain certain religious or political wants and aims. The violence is mostly done against civilians so as to bring the government to its peoples aid and agree to the wishes.

The first thing that pops in your mind as soon as you hear the word Terrorism or Terrorist is the  9/11.

9/11 was one of the greatest acts of Terrorism there ever was and hopefully ever will be the attack had caused great damage to human life and property reportedly 2,996 people were killed (including the 19 hijackers) and more than 6,000 people were had a traumatising effect on people as well as the economy, it had inflicted damage of upwards 3.3 trillion dollars. The attack shook not only the nation but also the world it made us realise how vulnerable we were to being crumpled and destroyed. The attack proved and showed the true and frightening power of Terrorism and no one was ready to believe that there was an evil rising above from inside of our own people.

Another horrific act of terrorism was 26/11 where a 5 star hotel was made victim of this cruel and unmerciful force it again witnessed a great loss of life and property and reportedly 173 people were killed while more than 300 remained injured this attack was comparatively smaller but this didn’t come in way of it being prominent. These attacks have become constant reminder to the rest of us to control this before it swallows us whole. According to many studies and researches terrorists too believe what they’re doing is right and they’re actually serving the greater good because they’ve been brainwashed this way they’ve been told that everyone is against them and so they’ve been de-sensitised.

The frequency and the magnitude of these attacks will only become higher if we don’t take preventive measures against them. All the governments are working around the clock to find and destroy this Terrorist ring from the root but there isn’t just one ring there are so many that even if we destroy the biggest ones there’ll still be many to go.In fact, there are now so many Terrorist rings that if we aren’t able to stop them now, a nuclear war, overpopulation, alien invasion or some A.I tech won’t be the end of the world terrorists will. The longer we wait the more small and big groups are joining this war against humanity.

According to the most we know and is publicly accessible the Terrorists are so skilled that they can go days without eating, they can scale a 10 storey building and be back on the ground before you even realise.Terrorists are brainwashed into doing this they are told that they are doing this for the greater good and other religious reasons. they are brainwashed into thinking we are he bad guys and maybe we are but the government tells us that we aren’t and obviously we wan to believe the easy truth.


You probably are reading this blog because you know the word’s hidden meaning and the harmful effects of it. What most of us don’t realise is that many problems or rather almost all the current problems are caused by it and it’s the root of all crime. In fact, it’s so serious that even though it’s such a big problem it cant be corrected with humane ways. So, how do you cure this? That is something I still have trouble in finding the answer to but one thing I can say that corruption is caused by this, robberies are caused by this, murder is caused by this, nations are toppled because of this, rapes are caused because of this.

Corruption because everyone dreams of having and giving their family a lavish life because the world has told an honest policewoman that you don’t deserve happiness because it has told him that you are nothing for this country. She has been told that you are worth nothing and she has not been given respect. Robberies because the world has said that it doesn’t matter if you’re satisfied with your life but you should just be rich and have big bucks, because it has told her that if you can’t afford Gucci or can’t roam in a Lamborghini then you are unsuccessful and your duty now is to respect the ones who are living the life you were supposed to live. She, frustrated tries new sources of obtaining money and thus, becomes a druggy or a thief.

Murder to bring other’s down even though they might be a social servant and has a lot of potential in her stream but just because she has money and fame because, the others are suddenly jealous of her and even though they might not have the potential to ever cope up with the amount of work and energy and passion she is contributing to this society wants it, they’ll go to any extent to snatch her of her money, fame, respect and destroy that perfect reputation she has been trying to maintain for years. This then becomes the way of life for them because this way, she can get recognised. This is the extent that we humans are ready to go to get attention.

Nations are toppled because one of the high ranked officer overtime sees that even tough she is constantly putting her life on the line, the one who is celebrated is the leader and not her, she gets so frustrated within herself that she finds that there isn’t any other option but to get to that position by eliminating all the other candidates up for this job and of course she isn’t able to handle the government because the president was THE PRESIDENT for some reason right?Because he had the ability to provide the people what they wanted. But of course the officer doesn’t realise this and instead of following his knowledge and experience, she follows the urge to become the new ruler and because she gets so madly driven in achieving this dream that she doesn’t care about being a traitor or  committing treason or murder.

Rapes are caused by it because men of their greed to have sexual pleasure that again he gets so driven to attain it that he doesn’t care about her feelings and her consent he just wants to get what he wants so badly that he ends up doing what he never wanted now, i’m bot trying to victimise him but what i’m trying to say that attaining moksh is also greed you say that you have moved on from greed but you are constantly trying to attain it because you have the ‘greed’ to attain it, but there is a big and huge difference between these two kinds of greed and it’s that the first kind is harmful because it affects other things too but when you’re trying to attain moksh it’s a totally difference one with a very positive energy and it’s not only about attaining moksh if you think about achieving something the greed is okay till you do it the right way which is until you don’t affect others around you.



In the current world we as countries look for ways to get ahead in life and establish ourselves in it.For this we haven’t exactly sought the most humane way and unfortunately  this way is development.This is exactly the word which country wants to get after after its name because apparently the amount of millionaires and the factories and the destruction of nature and it’s resources describe our placement in the society that is one of the ways we can surpass other countries and this is a physical and capital way take for example India it in itself is a very progressive country but is it so in it’s people’s mental thoughts? Now, progressive doesn’t always ,mean that you have to wish for a girl child but it’s your intensions which count. What is the biggest problem right now? Now some people might say that the drying up of rivers or the constant threat of nuclear war is the problem. But again this is about the mental ones. And the problem is rape and in countries like INDIA it is also sexism and a very famous movement to promote and support it is ‘FEMINISM’. Many people call themselves ‘FEMINISTS’ without even knowing the actual intention and the meaning of it. A common idea of it is that you have  to suppress men and uplift women and raise them above men. This is what causes the actual intentions of the movement to fail. Just cause you’re a woman doesn’t mean that you have to be feminist too, and just cause you’re a man and want to be progressive doesn’t mean that you also have to chant out and tell everyone about being a feminist. Feminism is also about supporting women in everyday life and not only knowing about it this is a very big problem in INDIA because here it is believed in many religions that women were a mistake of god. Now if thats what is written in the holy books which many people believe is the moral code of life then when are we going to ever get out of this suffocating sexist society? I for one am a feminist and I don’t believe that  ‘comments’ should be ‘comwomants’ or any such bullshit. Feminism is a very big and vast and complex subject and when people whose basic idea of women is trash try to understand it, it goes really bad and because most of the people are too dumb that they can’t understand complex things the idea of feminism, it goes sideways. If you chant feminism in public and then go home and tell your sister to serve dinner while you sit like a buffoon then you truly have no idea about what feminism is all about.This is because many men consider themselves as superior to women and this idea is too deep-rooted in our society that it exists in every household.